The scene is a desert waste land in Texas, two horsemen slowly ride further into the sparse wilderness. Their only company is sand, rocks, a cactus plant and the blazing afternoon sun. All that can be heard is the soft voice of Gene Autry crooning “Tumbling Tumbleweeds” to a piano accordion accompaniment.  On the trailing horse, the shorter swarthy man with a ponytail speaks:

Kemosabe, I have an idea.

What’s your big idea now Tonto?

An idea to make us some money.

Oh right make money eh! If wasn’t for me you’d be back at the kids summer camp - with tomato sauce painted over your pointy nose, all togged up in that phoney Red Indian gear. Getting photos taken with kids for 10 cents an hour.

Well, we have all got to earn a living……….

Earn a living? Your not even a Red Indian. Your lot are from bloody Calabria. If it was not for me introducing you to this movie racket you might not even be at Summer camp. You’d be back flipping dough making pizzas. And I’ll remind you: the stuff you go up to making pizza’s was a bloody scandal.  I mean who presses their dick into the pizza dough and serves it up and thinks its funny?

 Well Kemosabe, there was some method to it. You know how on meat pies they sometimes put a little pastry symbol on top so you can tell what sort of pie it is.  Well that was what I was kind of doing with the meatasaurus pizzas. You know, just so customers could easily identify it was a meat one.

They put the symbol on the top of the pie because you cannot see inside the pie! Hardly difficult identifying a pineapple from a tomato pizza is it? You numbskull! You want to know why you pressed your cock into the pizza dough? Do you want to know why! Because you a werido Tonto, a bloody weirdo! 

And once word got around what you were doing, the only pizza orders that were coming in were vegan. I’m not surprised.  And you didn’t have to serve up an impressed pizza to the Police Chief either! You’re a sick bastard. A bloody sick weirdo bastard Tonto. No wonder you were sacked and run out town.

Well that’s all in the past. I don’t want to………..

Yeah well, the movies are not selling and non-one is listening to our stupid radio program anymore!  What the hell are we going to do? The kids of today only want to watch computers, play Grand Theft Auto and any spare time after that they just watch porn and jerk off.  When I was younger it was just us boys and Becky Bang Bang, down by the back of the old woodshed..…. 

Err Komasabe………I know we are all alone in the middle of the West Texas desert, but still I think its best you don’t talk about that part of your life. 

Well, we’re broke! Things are getting desperate round here. We’re so broke when we get into town I’m not even going to be able afford to take me pants to the laundromat. Reminiscing about Becky has caused me………... (mercifully the voice trails off and is inaudible).      And my Strawman membership fees are due soon. And I have FA Strawman dollars, cos no one presses “like” for Scoonie anymore. I don’t think they get the gags.

No Kamosabe its not that. Strawman members have standards, and taste. 

Standards eh….. you know that bloody Sam Goldwyn at MGM, he robbed us! Bloody robbed us! That money hungry fat J…

Kamosabbe, you are back on one of your irrational rants again. We didn’t ever work for MGM studios. Not a single frame. Never even stepped on the lot.

See that proves it! That greedy prick Goldwyn wouldn’t give us a contract! Miserable fat keg-on-legs. Wouldn’t even give you a cold! That F%$#&% K…

Kamasabe, enough!  Now, lets focus on making money, so you will never have to work for an imaginary studio boss again. Here’s the idea:

Listed on the ASX is a company called Microba Life Sciences (ASX: MAP), and the good thing is the shares are on the bones of their arse. They are down below their recent capital raise price of less than 9 cents and well below their 45 cent 2022 float price, and February’s price of 32 cents.  

What do they do?

They are an early stage biotech whom specialise in gut health. They are scaling back their research side and focusing in on the commercialisation of two faecal tests, Metapanel and Metaexplore. These are sold through mainly GPs here in Australia and Britain. They have a tie up with the listed Sonic Healthcare (ASX:SHL) and Metlabs, the world’s largest biotech lab company. Also SHL own just under 20% of MAP, and have also participated in this month’s capital raise.

Faeces research and testing yousay?

Yes, mainly testing, patients pay MAP for the test kit, the patient carry out the sampling at home and SHL does the lab testing.

Oh, only a small sample then. I’ve had to eat a lot of shit in my life, so I suppose I could still consume a small amount if I had to. I could probably just eat a small plate of shit, with maybe some beans followed by hot coffee.....

No! No! Kemasabe, you haven’t got to eat faeces. Its just a test they are selling ….. you take a sample and send it to the lab. 

Oh Right….

Look, all we have to do is to buy the MAP shares - it has many of the hallmarks of a winner. And the good thing is the market hates it, and Phil King at Regal Funds Management has not invested in it either, so it is bound to be a success.

Yeah, well we all know what an all-round loser Phil is.

Look this whole gut health thing is like the human brain - science really doesn’t know all that much about it.  Yest there are millions of people out there who suffer from intermittent or chronic poor gut health. This is a huge addressable market, MAP talk about a near term addressable market of around $6b. Just numbers I know, but the potential market is very large and for all their stumbles MAP are a leader in the field, at least in Australia and Britain.  According to the CEO, MAP have the capacity to do with relatively low capex, 1 million tests per year. Currently they are working at an annual rate of 12,500. So, plenty of room to grow. Their technology appears to be superior to the existing PCR testing , for example MAP claim they can pick up 175 pathogens versus the current standard of 25.

MAP claim they can get to cash flow positive in Aust and Britain (not company wide) with this latest cap raise ($14.5m) by the end of FY 2026. It is not out of the question, and even if they get close it is likely the market will give them a re-rate for just continuing to grow at pace.  It is currently selling at the cap raise price of around 9 cents but could conceivably in 9 – 12 months re-rate to around double. 

Essentially they are now going all out for sales on their test kits in Australia and Britain. The research side of the business has been scaled back. They realise that they need income, and as we all know it is presently a very hostile world for biotechs without income. 

Mmmmm, juicy.….

And look Sonic has just over 19% of the company. They are Australia’s leading pathology company and are number 2 or 3 in England, number 2 or so in Germany and number 4 in the USA. Sonic are always on the look-out for ways to increase market penetration and get those labs working more efficiently.  I don’t think they are not going to let MAP fail - at least not while it is represents a further window into the growing market of gut pathology testing. So even if MAP don’t reach the targeted sales and stumbles, I suspect Sonic will step in and take MAP over. I don’t think you will see MAP go to zero.

Right, but SHL having 19% is a disadvantage, they effectively have their foot on MAP, no one else can take them over? 

True to a large extent. However better to have someone who is dedicated to the business success and knowledgeable in that ownership position. Other owners are Perennial (14%) SA Microba Holdings Ltd (an investment vehicle for Directors and insider mates) (7.5%), Thorney (6.7%) and Mercer (5%). But as I said those funds and owners are not going to let MAP slip away to Sonic for nothing, even if things don’t turn out as planned.

What are the financials?

In the quarter to 31/3/25 they lost $3.8m and 9 months to the 31/3/25 $11.5m (ex govt grants of $6m). They had $12m in cash as at 31/3/25. So their post raise cash will be around $25m. So they have about 18 months to turn it around. To get the UK and Australia to operational cash flow break even they need to double the number of test kits sold. This looks as though it is achievable.

Go back and listen to the July Strawman meeting. They lost $2.2m in the June 2024 quarter and the Mr motor-mouth CEO was intimating cash flow breakeven was not far off and they were going after market share at the expense of profit. All very tantalising – but they are losing MORE now 9 months later!  So explain that pastry-dick? 

Well I can’t, except to say, when have you seen one of these rollouts in the medical field like this go completely to plan?  If they can get sales up, as they have been the inflection point will come.  Look, everyone one else has given up on them as evidenced by the share price. What I am saying is don’t write them off just when things are getting tough. Sonic hasn’t. That’s our opportunity.

Maybe, tell us about management

The directors are a credible group, deputy chair is Ian Frazer a world renown immunologist another biotech professor and the chair is a Pasquale Rombola an ex investment banker. The CEO is Dr Luke Reid a Phd in biotechnology, a smart and articulate young fellow of about 35 – as you know, you can hear him on Strawman in the July 24 interview.  What the company needs is someone who can drive sales.  I would say, I think if Dr Reid cannot get some traction in the next couple of quarters he will be replaced.  

 What else can go wrong?

The key risk is they just do not deliver on their sales ambitions. Look biotech is a really hard business, particularly where you are selling something that is new. Just look at 4DX (ASX:4DX) superior science but are they having a real tough time of getting those sales.  Or look at Protonomics (ASX:PIQ), Bcal (ASX:BDX), Rhythm Bioscience (ASX:RHY) and Pacific Edge (ASX:PEB) - all blood testing companies in the investor reject bin.  

Each of them has their own particular problem/s, but what unites them in collective catastrophe is they are all pre-revenue.  In contrast MAP has a decent product and sales, has new capital funding as of this month, has a functioning sales organisation with a foothold both the Australian and British markets, has strong business links with Sonic and is run by competent people.

Nothing is certain, but there is a strong probability the cap raise ambitions will be delivered on. And MAP is on sale. If you buy now, you could just get a very decent New Financial Year bounce in the share price come Tuesday.  Note, however the SPP shares (around $2m worth assuming all entitlements are taken up) will be available for trading on the 14/8/25, and this may weigh on the share price.   

And MAP is just a sardine with a market cap post the raise of around $55m (at the raise price, and a current market price of around 9 cents). And it is nice illiquid for little tackers like us. Currently no funds can buy this one on market. Its unpopular now, but you have to go where the puck is, not where it has been.

Right Trusty Scout, Microba(ASX:MAP) is a BUY.   Just as well I thought of it. Lets get a move on, the tax loss selling period will end on Monday. We will need to get to Colby by nightfall. At Colby there is mobile reception, even for the shit Vodafone service we have.  Hi yo Silver!  

So I am "Trusty Scout” now am I?  You really need treatment for your bipolar disorder. You f&*%ken egomaniac on a horse.