Thanks @Strawman but I really can't take credit. I borrowed the format off another strawman user a while back and unfortunately can't remember who it was to attribute the credit.
I third the straw format. Great job. But we've obviously found a Bootstrap Paradox! :)
Clearly @Vandelay and/or @Bradbury was/will be a time traveller at some point in the past/future. This is too hard to write about. Here's a moderately funny comic about it: