At PortfolioPlus Scoonie found your analysis of City Chic (ASX:CCX ) the “Plus Size” women’s clothing chain, intriguing. I was particularly impressed by your seeking first-hand customer knowledge by unobtrusively hanging around your local Gold Coast City Chic store to observe store patronage. Modestly described by yourself as undertaking:  “shabby amateur detective work."  Well done.

An hour or so observing foot traffic is a great way to gain a first hand understanding of a retail business.   Retail is one of the few businesses where an ordinary investor you can quickly get some sort of a feel for the business just by visiting a store. Years ago, I bought into JB Hi Fi on the same basis. Being impressed after visiting a local store where I observed it packed with young people along with energetic and helpful staff.

So Scoonie also went to the local City Chic outlet (described by City Chic as a “World of Curves”) at Westfield Kotara and did some of my own investigation. Similar to PortfolioPlus I waited at a non-suspicious distance outside and just watched.  

For the 30 minutes I was outside, I observed the following:

• 3 women walked into the store,
• Only one appeared to be a buyer, leaving with a bulging paper bag.

I very rarely go to shopping centers and like PortfolioPlus I too was stunned by the observed size of the potential market -  what CCX management call the larger ‘she’.

Dissatisfied with the usefulness of the above detective work, I decided to enter the store under the pretext of intending to buy a Christmas dress for my wife. The idea being, in the process I would engage the staff member with questions on store performance, staff turnover and all things business. This was a big step for Scoonie.  Firstly I have never been in a dress shop before in my life, and secondly my wife is a svelte size 10.  I reasoned to myself: if a wily Plus saleslady did somehow corner me into making a purchase, then I could have someone cut down the plus-sized dress and with the material make three (or perhaps more) normal sized garments. So all would not be lost.

As I waited a distance outside the City Chic outlet, the very thought of the deception I was planning was making me nauseous. The feeling was something like the time as a thirteen year old Scoonie used to pretend to look at the car magazines at the local newsagent. Instead my tiny retina muscles were straining to the side, ogling the front covers of the adjacent magazines in their little plastic bags. Fortunately at the time the whole situation was so stressful my other tiny muscle did not also become strained, so saving me any further embarrassment.  

After a break in the shopping mall foot traffic and wearing a baseball cap and heavy-set reading glasses I quickly darted into the store.  What confronted me was so many tent dresses it could have been the Port Macquarie caravan park at Easter.  Row after billowing row of them. A Plus sized shop assistant with a Plus sized smile approached me and asked if she could help. I felt extremely embarrassed. I was just rooted on the spot. I couldn’t get any words out. It was like being back in high school, trying to build up the courage to phone the hot chick and ask her out. And I did, and when she picked up the phone I just hung up. Or like the time I arrived at school with my fly down, and for once the hot chicks took notice of me - only this time they were all laughing at me. Or at least a part of me. 

The Plus lady was now directly in front of me, smiling. What could I do but just pretended to smile back. And then pretend my phone was ringing and put it up to high on my head to cover as much of my red and throbbing face as I could.  Then for real put my head down. Then for real ran as fast as I could out of the shop. School Chicks or City Chics it only proves my life-long interactions with females are a complete cluster.   

I am back home now, and when this morning I went to get the mail one of the neighbours looked at me a little strange and didn’t say anything. I know she works at the local Westfield. Instead of me investigating the local City Chic “World of Curves” for serious business intent, maybe now I am being investigated as some sort of a sick lead actor in a “World of Pervs”.

With my wife working and I having no visible means of support and being a naturally introverted and quiet sort of fellow I am already something of a Village Oddity. And after what just happened I risk being becoming known as the Village Weirdo. Myself, I would be content with just being known as an ordinary every- day Village Idiot.  

Andrew can you please start up some kind of a Strawman Roster of members to undertake these real life investigations?  To kind-of equitably spread around the psychological punishment. I don’t think at my age, and my now fragile mental condition I can handle another humiliation like this one.